Buddhism, St. Francis and the Bat

Ah, how Buddhism has begun to influence my life. The scene- my den at Maison Cou Rouge.  Time--about ten in the evening a couple of weeks ago. I'm sitting there, minding my own business, watching TV and needlepointing. The house is dark except for the lights in the den.  Hey, I was the one always running behind everyone else turning off the lights....I hate changing light bulbs and wasting electricity...but I digress... Something flits by along my peripheral vision. You know that feeling you get?  The blink-twice....forehead-frown...."what the hell was THAT" thought. You don't move your head, but your eyes dart first to the left...then to the right. Something black swoops down in front of the fireplace.  (Yes, swoops.  I have  a two-story cathedral ceiling in my den). You know what comes next. Words that would make a sailor blush. I have a ^$*#% bat in the house. This has happened only one other time in the twelve years I have lived at Maison Cou Rouge.  That time, Alix came down the stairs (I think she was ten) and said something was in her room. I said "Sure...it's probably a fly...at worse, a roach."  Another bad mommy of the week award....Again, I digress. The point is, I shouldn't be surprised that a bat came down a chimney.  This house has three chimneys and nine fireplaces. What did I do?  I reacted like most women. I panicked.  I ran to my bedroom, closed the door and hid. The next two days, I tiptoed around the house, ready at any moment to be attacked by Dracula.  No bat sightings.   I figured that, like me at my mom's house in Louisiana, it had taken over the upstairs. Fine. You have your space, Mr. Bat....I have mine. But the time came when I had to put on my big girl panties and deal with going upstairs (yes, in my own home).  I had to get the upstairs straightened and cleaned because I was leaving for Louisiana and not coming back until April.  And so, with great GREAT stealth, I crept up the stairs. No bat.  I figured it had found its way BACK up the chimney (yeah right--I'm good at deluding myself when I want to....)  I changed the sheets on the beds and cleaned the bathrooms.  All well and good. Here is where the Buddhist part comes in.   The next  afternoon, I was getting my teeth cleaned (I know TMI) and I was listening to a teaching from Jack Kornfield's "Buddhism for Beginners". His lecture was the Noble 8-Fold Path--one element of  which is "right actions" --including respect for all living things.  He told the story of how he attended a teaching of His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, on the topic of respect.  His Holiness said---  "Here I am supposed to be this great important teacher, but look at this ant right here.  You really have to admire this ant.  Perhaps this ant has more innocence than I.   It certainly is more patient that I. Or look at this spider. It is more sure-footed than I; and it creates a web, certainly more beautiful than I can.  You have to see something beautiful and valuable in every form of life." Well, guess who came to visit that night? The bat was back. And having a grand time flying around my well-lit den. This time, I didn't panic. I prayed to good ol' St. Francis, the patron saint of animals,  for help.  To help the BAT, not to help me.  Respect for all living creatures.  Like the Buddha taught.  The ant....the spider...Jack Kornfield's story of the Dalai Lama. Suddenly, something I had watched on National Geographic popped into my head. Cave bats fly toward the light. (See, Mama, all those years of sitting in front of the TV instead of playing with the neighborhood children pay off eventually).  The bat probably flew downstairs because it was the only light on in the house. So I turned off the den lights, opened the french doors from the den to the patio, and turned on the outside patio and lights.  In less than a minute, the bat found its way through the door and to the outside. What did I learn? My first reaction (well, after I ran in panic and dove under my bed) was "Kill the bat". My second reaction was "Damn, I need a guy to fix this".  My third reaction was  "Why does all this bad stuff have to happen to me". Look how self-centered those initial reactions were. All about ME. When I changed my viewpoint---stop thinking about myself-- I realized the bat was just as panicked as I was. Breathe.  Don't panic.  Remember we are all living creatures and respect that.  Pray.  Use your knowledge to help another living being. Situation resolved. You know what else I noticed?  Bats are very beautiful fliers. Just one thing.  Under NO circumstance expect me to remember any of the above lessons learned if there is a snake around. Some things just are never gonna change.

Dew

Life is fragile
like the dew hanging
delicately on the grass,
Crystal drops that will
be carried away on the 
first morning breeze.

-Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

The Essential Nature of Mind

No words can describe it

No example can point to it

Samsara does not make it worse

Nirvana does not make it better

It has never been born

It has never ceased

It has never been liberated

It has never been deluded

It has never existed

It has never been nonexistent

It has no limits at all

It does not fall into any kind of category.

-Dudjom Rinpoche

Richard III

A Letter to Annie

Annie Modesitt is an incredible knitter, designer and author.  She writes a blog Modeknit/Knitting Heretic.  It's one of my "go to" sites for inspiration.  Sometimes it's knitting, sometimes a chuckle, sometime a political view...but it's always interesting.

She also writes about her family and how they are dealing with her diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and her husband's diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma.  Her willingness to share her feelings has encouraged me to write a bit more about my thoughts-- my struggles with depression, my fears of moving, my empty nest.  

A few days ago, she wrote about "Bridging Fear."   Her frankness and fearlessness in putting her feelings into words left me wanting to respond.  So I left her a comment on her blog.  

And I am going to share it here, as well...because...well, I don't know.  Maybe it will help someone else.

Dear Annie-

Over the years, your words have brought me comfort and inspiration--along with many smiles and giggles.  We are the same age; we share the same interests and education, and your daughter shares my birthday.. so I have felt a certain connection with you.

I understand the war zone analogy...and I also understand the weariness and numbness.  I put up with a verbally abusive marriage for 28 years.

I don’t know what will work for you.  I have no magic words to make anything easier.  I only know what worked for me.

On March 13, 2007, Franklin Habit wrote on his blog “The Panopticon”  a quote from Lord Buddha-

“These are two things Buddhism has taught me, and that I believe:

1. All things are impermanent and change is constant.
2. Suffering arises from the desire to hang on to things that are impermanent or control that which cannot be controlled.”

These words profoundly changed my life.  I realized that the only things that I could control were MY actions and REactions to life events or to other people’s actions.  Because of these words, I stopped reacting when my (now ex) husband tried to pick a fight or belittle me. It diffused the anger in me.  And it gave me the strength to leave the marriage.

Another quote that helped was from Anthony Hopkins-

“My philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier.”     

 Annie- you are what you are.  You are the best YOU that has ever been created. 

I understand the “big scaries” that are out there.  How will I be able to keep a roof over my and my childrens’  heads?  How can I do this alone? How will I survive?  

Annie- you will not only survive... you will THRIVE.

These years you have had with Gerry have been and will continue to be precious.  And in watching how you two deal with the everyday struggles of life... and yes, death... your children will learn the true meaning of honor, commitment and love.  And these lessons they will pass on.  And so you will change the world.

Yep, I know you would like the merry-go-round instead of the roller coaster right now.  

But truthfully, the roller coaster is a LOT more interesting in the long run.

If it were easy, anyone could do it.

But you are not just “anyone”.  You are Annie Modesitt.  Incredible designer. Incredible knitter.  Incredible wife.  Incredible mother.  Incredible woman.

You are extraordinary.

And as Stephen Schwartz said “When you are extraordinary, you gotta do extraordinary things.”

You are in my prayers.