Introduce Yourself...or "Hi, I'm E"

PROJECT #1:
Introduce yourself.
I know, I know. That’s a little anticlimactic. Here were are, talking about changing the world from our rocking chairs on our porches with a little pie, and I’m asking you to just talk about one of the subjects you know best — you.
If you have a blog, make a post about who you are.

This is the task put in front of me by the leader of a new group I’ve joined online. Now I know it’s funny that most of us kinda know what we’d say to introduce ourselves to strangers, but putting it into actual words on paper (or screen) suddenly makes the task a bit more daunting. More permanent? Maybe….well- here goes.

Hi. I’m Elizabeth. I go by various names...Mama, Mumzzz, Martha, Miss Elizabeth...but in the family, I'm usually called "E". I’m 47, but feel more like 27. Or maybe 37- that was a good age. Old enough to not worry much about the crap in life, but not old enough to be someone’s grandmother.

I grew up in Northwestern Louisiana as a city girl with deep roots in the country-my mother’s family has farmed since before the Civil War. I grew up in the best of both worlds—friends around the corner in town, and acres and acres of pasture and cotton fields. Still nothing prettier to me than a cotton field before it’s defoliated…green leaves, white bolls, pink blossoms, blue sky, brown dirt. Opening day of dove season is still one of my favorite days of the year.

I’m the oldest of three, with two brothers. I’ve always been a bit of a loner, and –although this amazes people for some reason- painfully shy. A tomboy- was happiest making mudpies and playing war. Waterballoons and blowing things up. I can play the glamour game, but much prefer jeans.

I went to a Catholic all-girls’ high school. Was taught by a few nuns. Some very good, very kind, very wise nuns, but mostly crazy ones. Almost everything you read about “catholic girls schools” is true. Yes, I was taught “never wear patent leather shoes because guys will look up your dress” and that french kissing will get you pregnant. I was never the “beautiful one”, never the “thin one”- definitely not a cheerleader-type. I was a drama geek. The actress, the costume designer, the set painter, the lighting wizard. I loved- and still love- creating worlds out of imagination.

I went to college in Virginia. Randolph-Macon Woman’s College. Yep, another girls’ school. Majored in Russian and Theatre. I learned more there than I can ever convey. Not just book learning, but resourcefulness, leadership and strength. Independence. Perseverance. That individuality is a blessing. That friendship is one of the greatest gifts of all.

Six weeks after graduation, I got married to Alan, a lieutenant in the Army. Moved a week later to Germany. Lived there four years and loved every single second while we were there. I think of myself as more European than American.

I’ve lived up and down the East Coast- Maryland, Virginia, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Connecticut. Large Company Corporate Wife. Then back to the South—Memphis and finally here, to the Middle-of-Nowhere. Washington County, Georgia. And I wouldn’t live anywhere else. I love living in small-town rural Georgia. Where there’s a handful of well-educated, well-read, well-travelled families we are blessed to call friends…and then there’s every Darwinian proof for the Origin of the Species. I’m a people-watcher- a trip to Walmart is a blast…characters galore. Southerners definitely don’t keep their eccentrics in the closet…they come out in the daylight. When I need a big-city fix, I go to Atlanta, or Savannah. Or hop on a plane to New York.

I’m a mom- of two incredibly brilliant, talented and gorgeous kids. Not just my opinion-ask anyone (My husband and I still can’t figure out how they got assigned to us…) Boy-older, Girl-younger. Heir and Spare. He’s a senior in high school, she’s a freshman.
They are good—no---great kids. Loud music and messy rooms are about the biggest complaint I have of them. And they steal the towels out of my bathroom.

I knit. I write-but not enough. I design needlepoint canvases. I read. I cook. I’m writing a cookbook for my kids that I hope will be finished within the year. I’m terrible at housework. I sew. I love gardening in March, and hate gardening by July. I dabble in all sorts of creative things….mosaic, jewelry design, painting. I’m the resident scenic designer at the kids’ school.

I love pretty lingerie and sweatpants. Mozart and Meatloaf, Vivaldi and Van Halen. I love having people around me and being left alone. Russian Orthodoxy and Buddhism. Dante Alighieri and Danielle Steele. Travelling abroad and coming home to “my own widdle bed”.

I’m searching for the perfect lipstick. I am phobic about snakes. I really want to learn to fly a plane.

I am fan of any kind of racing, but especially horses. I’m equally passionate about football—both American college style with a pointy ball, and rest-of-the-world style with a round one.

If there is reincarnation, I was a sailor in a previous life. I may have been born and raised landlocked, but I fight like hell to get in viewing distance, if not actually on, the sea as much as I can. I love looking at the horizon and not seeing land. Put me in a sailboat with a full spinnaker---and no noise but waves hitting the bow...fabulous.

Figured me out yet??? If so, please enlighten me, ‘cause I still haven’t…..

Oh, and I don’t ever plan on growing up………..

Where Does My Day Go????

The guilt just washes over me. Dude, the bro, keeps informing me that I need to update my blog. Even though we have been communicating daily as a result of his bout with Hollywood (yes, they finished filming at his house. Yes, they rented and returned his dining room table and silverware for the White House dining room shots. Yes, Val Kilmer and Fifty Cent visited with Josh Brolin on his patio. All too surreal for me). YES, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, I KNOW I HAVEN'T BLOGGED SINCE JUNE 10th!!!!!!! I have a reason.

First, School got out. I hid under my bed (metaphorically, don't call the men in the white coats yet) until the dust settled and a routine got established with the comings and goings of the Teens of Summer. Then I had to get Girl ready for camp. She's in the North Georgia Mountains for two weeks, with no cell phone, no ipod and no computer. My bet is she survives, but barely. Then there is this lace shawl that I am trying to finish before our trip to the UK in two weeks. Not to mention stalking all my friends on Facebook and Ravelry.

And now I've been sucked into the time-vacuum that is PLURK. Oh, just go investigate it. I don't have time to explain. I have to go see what my friends are doing.

I'm not fixing dinner tonight. Again.

OMG-He's Gonna Have Famous Furniture!!

As I type this, 550 miles away in the home of my brother, Dude, Oliver Stone is behind a camera filming a scene from the upcoming movie "W"!!!!! How wierd and cool is that???

If you've read anything about the movie industry, you know that many films are shot in Louisiana. Must be just "sumpthun" about our little banana republic. Post-Katrina, many of those movies planned for New Orleans moved to Shreveport, and a whole huge industry has been born. Seems that "Hooterville on the Red" has just about everything movie moguls like--cheap labor, various outdoor and indoor scene selections, a wide variety of architecture, plenty of hotel space and damn good food. "The Guardian" , "Mr. Brooks", and "Mad Money" , "Factory Girl", "Premonition" and "The Great Debaters" have all been filmed in S'port.........

So when a location manager approached Dude and Jula about using their house, it wasn't a big deal. Their friends' home had been used in "Mad Money" --so they knew the drill. Oliver Stone--yes Oliver Stone- came by to look at the living room....and he liked it. So chez Dude and Jula has become Barbara and George 41's Houston living room for a few days.

It has been a wild daily report for the past week as my bro's living room has been emptied of furniture, only to have most of their things brought back in as "they are nicer than the stuff we WERE gonna use." The crew has photoshopped pics of the Bush twins into picture frames, they changed out some paintings and brought in a very un-Jula rose-covered chintz couch.

The latest happening was that the site manager asked Jula yesterday if "James and Ellen" (as in Cromwell and Burstyn) could use the upstairs of the house for downtime between takes. My sister-in-law was thrown for a loop, as they have kids ranging from 14 to 9 and so the upstairs is not as "done" as downstairs.... but with an "it's a mess, but sure" she has removed the clothes from the "very expensive clothes hanger" aka the treadmill, and pushed a pile of clean but not folded towels from an armchair to behind her dresses in her closet and is going with the flow. At this moment, she is ensconced in her kitchen, in a comfy chair brought in for her use, needlepointing and drinking Diet Coke after Diet Coke as the magic of moviedom works around her.

So when you go to see Oliver Stone's "W", be sure to notice the linen press, the books, the fireplace, and the portrait of the young belle above the bar in the dining room...that would be Gran!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and did I mention they get paid a right nice figure per day for all this hoo-hah??

I wish Hollywood would discover the Middle-Of-Nowhere..........

Sock Wars Assassination on the Horizon

My days as a Sock Wars Assassin are numbered. I just received a message titled "Rest in Fleece"from my new assassin informing me that my socks are in the mail. I guess I have about 36 hours left to live in SockWars.....

If anyone would like to commiserate in my upcoming demise, please remember that I like pink roses, lilacs, stargazer lilies,and gardenias...oh, and peonies.

Target Eliminated!!!

Yes!!! I have assassinated my sock wars target, ErieELF. Or at least the socks are in the mail, along with some goodies from Georgia for my newly-demised knitting friend in Ohio.

My assassin -*MIRTH*- was, sadly, assassinated by HER assassin , Lady Elaine, before she could finish my socks, and now must forward my unfinished pair to New York for re-targeting to me. She sounds like a fast knitter, so my only hope is that HER assassin, Mirabai, with get her before she can finish my socks and kill me. Both are still listed as alive, but that can change at any second.

Are you thoroughly confused yet??

On the other side, I must wait until ErieELF gets her package, declares herself dead, and sends the socks she was working on for her target, Sock Diva, to me. As of today, Sock Diva is still alive, so ErieELF hasn't assassinated her yet. Sock Diva's target, Elabeth, is also still alive.

Something tells me I won't be alive for long.