In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didnʼt have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something. One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check. After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat. Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaohʼs people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lay, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighborʼs stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Mosesʼ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesnʼt sound very wise to me. After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them. After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was. ') During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didnʼt stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead. Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, and then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Through the eyes of a child: The Children's Bible in a Nutshell
Grumpy Guy's baby sister sent this to me, and I thought it was just wonderful and terribly funny. Enjoy!!
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didnʼt have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something. One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check. After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat. Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaohʼs people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lay, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighborʼs stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Mosesʼ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesnʼt sound very wise to me. After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them. After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was. ') During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didnʼt stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead. Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, and then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren’t embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didnʼt have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something. One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check. After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat. Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaohʼs people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lay, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighborʼs stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Mosesʼ best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesnʼt sound very wise to me. After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them. After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was. ') During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him. Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didnʼt stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead. Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, and then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
My Very Own Forum Thread!!!
My friends over at Captain's Voyage have made me my very own forum thread so I can tell them all about life at Maison Cou Rouge and in Middle-Of-Nowhere!!!!
Go check it out as I try to describe life in the South to people all over the world..
THIS IS THE MIDDLE-OF-NOWHERE/SANDERSVILLE-TENNILLE
Come join us at Captains Voyage--we share the most interesting photos and ideas!!
Go check it out as I try to describe life in the South to people all over the world..
THIS IS THE MIDDLE-OF-NOWHERE/SANDERSVILLE-TENNILLE
Come join us at Captains Voyage--we share the most interesting photos and ideas!!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Inaugural Prayer
I know this will be a controversial post--such are the polarizing feelings of the last presidential election. But my oldest friend Ed sent a copy of (Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire) the Right Rev. Gene Robinson's inaugural prayer and I feel a real need to post it.
Ed's love and compassion for all people, regardless of age, ethnicity, sexuality, or religious affiliation is my inspiration. I try to be a better person every day because of his example. My life is blessed because he has been my friend for every day of my 48 years on this earth.
Whatever your feelings are at the present moment, I hope that in reading this you will take away even just a little something and apply it to your life today. Even if it's just a smile to a stranger different from you. It is in small ways that we change the world.
As Mother Teresa said--"We can do no great things...only small things with great love."
Opening Inaugural Event
Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC
January 18, 2009
Delivered by the Right Reverend V. Gene Robinson:
"Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin, but first, please join me in pausing for a moment, to ask God's blessing upon our nation and our next president.
O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…
Bless us with tears – for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.
Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.
Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic "answers" we've preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.
Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be "fixed" anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.
Bless us with humility – open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world.
Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance – replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences, and an understanding that in our diversity, we are stronger.
Bless us with compassion and generosity – remembering that every religion's God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.
And God, we give you thanks for your child Barack, as he assumes the office of President of the United States.
Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him with Lincoln's reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy's ability to enlist our best efforts, and Dr. King's dream of a nation for ALL the people.
Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State needs a steady, calm captain in these times.
Give him stirring words, for we will need to be inspired and motivated to make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the challenges ahead.
Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States.
Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives of those who are still its victims.
Give him the strength to find family time and privacy, and help him remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot at his daughters' childhoods.
And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our presidents, and we're asking FAR too much of this one. We know the risk he and his wife are taking for all of us, and we implore you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your hand – that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he might find joy in this impossible calling,
and that in the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity and peace.
AMEN."
Ed's love and compassion for all people, regardless of age, ethnicity, sexuality, or religious affiliation is my inspiration. I try to be a better person every day because of his example. My life is blessed because he has been my friend for every day of my 48 years on this earth.
Whatever your feelings are at the present moment, I hope that in reading this you will take away even just a little something and apply it to your life today. Even if it's just a smile to a stranger different from you. It is in small ways that we change the world.
As Mother Teresa said--"We can do no great things...only small things with great love."
Opening Inaugural Event
Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC
January 18, 2009
Delivered by the Right Reverend V. Gene Robinson:
"Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin, but first, please join me in pausing for a moment, to ask God's blessing upon our nation and our next president.
O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…
Bless us with tears – for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.
Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.
Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic "answers" we've preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.
Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be "fixed" anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.
Bless us with humility – open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world.
Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance – replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences, and an understanding that in our diversity, we are stronger.
Bless us with compassion and generosity – remembering that every religion's God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.
And God, we give you thanks for your child Barack, as he assumes the office of President of the United States.
Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him with Lincoln's reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy's ability to enlist our best efforts, and Dr. King's dream of a nation for ALL the people.
Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State needs a steady, calm captain in these times.
Give him stirring words, for we will need to be inspired and motivated to make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the challenges ahead.
Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States.
Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives of those who are still its victims.
Give him the strength to find family time and privacy, and help him remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot at his daughters' childhoods.
And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our presidents, and we're asking FAR too much of this one. We know the risk he and his wife are taking for all of us, and we implore you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your hand – that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he might find joy in this impossible calling,
and that in the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity and peace.
AMEN."
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Happy Birthday,CruiseGran!!
I said there were a lot of birthdays in January in my family--but here's the Birthday Girl of all Birthday Girls--because she's the reason I am here!!!
For CruiseGran's birthday, I thought I would just share a few photos from the past year....
With Nina on Crystal Serenity in April
And with our darling wine steward Oleg also
With yours truly in Guernsey in July
And flying on the London Eye a few days later
on Crystal Symphony's Avenue Saloon in July
and dressed up at French Dinner on Serenity
Dancing with grandson, Dude at the family wedding in San Diego in October
And the Three Generations at Stonehenge in July
Note to my darling daughter, Girl--
If you can live as full a life as your grandmother does, and do as much work to make this world a better place as she does, you will live a wonderful life. Use her as a role model. I have...and I am a better person for it.
And you are lucky...you got her gorgeous legs!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LARRY!!!!!
January is filled with birthdays in my family, and today is no exception...
IT"S BROTHER LARRY'S (mumble,mumble, mumble) TH BIRTHDAY!!
I don't have many pictures of Larry from childhood--and, yes, children, we did have cameras back then, but we didn't carry them with us 24/7. Yes we also had telephones, and electricity, and cars, and...well, we will discuss the dark ages BC (before children) later...
But here are a few visual offerings I have dug up today to honor my 15-months-younger-than-me brother!! Many happy returns of the day!!!!
A picture from my Uncle Bubby and Aunt JoAnn's wedding...help, CruiseGran, what year was this 1967 or so???
I dragged up an old yearbook and found THESE pictures from when Larry was in 6th grade:
His official "class picture"
Look, nephew Dude--your father really played FOOTBALL!!
and he was very photogenic in a candid moment..
Yes is smile is still the same...
He attended the Plantation Ball in 1978 when I was presented as a graduating high school senior. Yes, it was the fashion in the seventies to wear powder blue tuxedoes all the time..
He was around 4 years later when I got married to Grumpy Guy--yes, that's Woo on the right
He even shared a moment of humor before the big event..
From the archives- a scanned copy of Christmas with Santa in 2001
Photos become much more frequent with advent of digital cameras and annual get togethers
Rabbit, Jula, Panda, CruiseGran, Larry and Dude in St. Petersburg, Russia 2006
The Boys outside the Hotel Bauer in Venice 2007
Panda and Larry on Crystal Serenity in the Bay of Naples 2007
On the Cote d'Azur 2007
Dude and Larry on Crystal Symphony 2008
Larry and his best girl Jula in the Symphony's Crystal Cove 2008
Larry, CruiseGran and our wine steward Mario in the Crystal Dining Room on Symphony 2008
And a happy guy and his mom..on Serenity in the Mediterranean 2007
MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY, BRO!!
IT"S BROTHER LARRY'S (mumble,mumble, mumble) TH BIRTHDAY!!
I don't have many pictures of Larry from childhood--and, yes, children, we did have cameras back then, but we didn't carry them with us 24/7. Yes we also had telephones, and electricity, and cars, and...well, we will discuss the dark ages BC (before children) later...
But here are a few visual offerings I have dug up today to honor my 15-months-younger-than-me brother!! Many happy returns of the day!!!!
A picture from my Uncle Bubby and Aunt JoAnn's wedding...help, CruiseGran, what year was this 1967 or so???
I dragged up an old yearbook and found THESE pictures from when Larry was in 6th grade:
His official "class picture"
Look, nephew Dude--your father really played FOOTBALL!!
and he was very photogenic in a candid moment..
Yes is smile is still the same...
He attended the Plantation Ball in 1978 when I was presented as a graduating high school senior. Yes, it was the fashion in the seventies to wear powder blue tuxedoes all the time..
He was around 4 years later when I got married to Grumpy Guy--yes, that's Woo on the right
He even shared a moment of humor before the big event..
From the archives- a scanned copy of Christmas with Santa in 2001
Photos become much more frequent with advent of digital cameras and annual get togethers
Rabbit, Jula, Panda, CruiseGran, Larry and Dude in St. Petersburg, Russia 2006
The Boys outside the Hotel Bauer in Venice 2007
Panda and Larry on Crystal Serenity in the Bay of Naples 2007
On the Cote d'Azur 2007
Dude and Larry on Crystal Symphony 2008
Larry and his best girl Jula in the Symphony's Crystal Cove 2008
Larry, CruiseGran and our wine steward Mario in the Crystal Dining Room on Symphony 2008
And a happy guy and his mom..on Serenity in the Mediterranean 2007
MANY MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY, BRO!!
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