The Obituary for Common Sense

Interesting and sadly true, today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, 'Common Sense', who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouth wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his four stepbrothers; I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Whilst I'm in Crazy Mode......Have Fun!

I could survive for 1 minute, 13 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds.net

The Design Process

For those of you who have expressed... um..anxiety? . ..about my not posting (and you know who you are...as do I) here's what I have been doing instead of entertaining you with the goings on at Maison Cou Rouge..

I've been working on two needlepoint canvas commissions. The design process is not unlike other media, with the added fun of not only incorporating color and texture, but also the elements of stitches, canvas and thread materials into account.

So how does it work? Well, first of all, I'm blessed that the people I design for pretty much let me run with ideas. They tell me what they are looking for, and rein me in when I go too far afield.

It helps the design process that I am a needlepointer myself. So I know what will work, and what won't.( For example, you're never gonna get a perfect circle out of slanted stitches.) Shapes have to be interpreted and repeats figured out. There's a bit of math involved. And a lot of flying by the seat of my pants.

I always encourage my clients to use the best quality materials. With all "needlesports", I prefer working in silk or wool, because it lasts. When one invests this much time into a project (hundreds, sometimes thousands of hours) one should plan on the work being handed down to one's grandchildren. Yes, I have already warned my own children that if they ever throw out one of my pillows, hangings, or objects d'art, I will come back from the grave to haunt them. I will be a little more forgiving on the knitted objects, but not much... but I digress...

So back to the works at hand. the first one is a wall hanging for a shop that is decorated in the colors of South Beach Miami. Pinks, greens, blues...and flamingos everywhere. Here's what I came up with via my watercolors and my computer...if you look closely by the tail, you can see some penciled notes for threads, stitches, or embellishments..

I'm really loving this chick's face...

Once I get a final approval, I use my incredibly inexpensive lightbox to transfer the painting to canvas (why buy a lightbox when sunlight and a large window in my office will do....) This is another commission..

I trace over my major outlines, making changes for stitch patterns where necessary


Ending up with something like this.

Next, I'll refine my design and get my paint box out...but that's for another day.

So no, my dears, I haven't been lying around eating bonbons all day...or playing on the internet...much.......................

Because I am a Knitter....and a Blonde....

I can post things like this...under the category of "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused...."

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

Body Statistics

Dear friend Jan sent this to me today...very interesting facts!! ENJOY!


BODY STATISTICS

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

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Women reading this will be finished now.

Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs