Saturday, March 21, 2009

Catching Wild Pigs

Grumpy Guy sent this to me.......something we should think about.......

A chemistry professor in a large college had some exchange students in the class.One day while the class was in the lab the Professor noticed one young man (exchange student)who kept rubbing his back, and stretching as if his back hurt. The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist government.

In the midst of his story, he looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked, 'Do you know how to catch wild pigs?'

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line.The young man said this was no joke.

'You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come every day to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming.When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side.The pigs, who are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat,you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd. Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.'

The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening to America. The government keeps pushing us toward socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc..

While we continually lose our freedoms -- just a little at a time--One should always remember:

There is no such thing as a free lunch!

Also, a politician will never provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.

God help you when the gate slams shut!

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have". Thomas Jefferson

Thursday, March 19, 2009

THE DARWIN AWARDS - 2009 EDITION

The 2009 Darwin Awards are finally out, the annual honour given to the persons who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out. This year's winner was a real "rocket scientist"! Read on...And remember that each and every one of these is a TRUE STORY.

And the nominees were:

Semi-finalist #1

A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply, because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.

Semi-finalist #2

Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankles.

Semi-finalist #3

A 22-year-old Reston, VA , man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot rail road trestle. Fairfax County police said Eric Basia, a fast food worker, attached a bunch of these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake According Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators think Basia was alone because his car was found nearby. 'The length of the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground,' Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of death was 'major trauma.' YA THINK!?

Semi-finalist #4

A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized.

Semi-finalist #5

Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building & extinguished all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as ''bright'' by his peers.


Now, the winner of this year's Darwin Award

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smouldering metal embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. Police investigators finally pieced together the mystery. An amateur rocket scientist had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off - a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra 'push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to the car, jumped in, got up some speed and fired off the JATO!

The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3 miles from the crash site. This was established by the scorched and melted asphalt at that location.

The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20 -25 seconds.

The driver(soon to be pilot) would have experienced G- forces usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners. However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then became airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable. However, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron attained a ground speed of approximately 420-mph, though much of his voyage was not actually on the ground.

Kate Puzey



It’s a surreal moment when the bottom scroll of the news channel becomes personal.

“Peace Corps Worker Found Dead in Africa”. I didn’t even stop to remember that Girl’s beloved English and French teacher, Virginia McAfee (I blogged about her here ) has a family member in the Peace Corps. In Africa. Who’s name is Kate.

Kate Puzey. Her name scrolls across the screen. And the news is suddenly personal.

I didn’t know Kate. Kate’s mother and “Miz Mac” are first cousins, but Virginia was more like an aunt to Kate. Yesterday, when Virginia and I had a chance to hug and exchange a few words, I learned about this incredible young lady and how she changed the world in her 24 years.

This link to the Alanta Journal Constitution article explains some of the story as does the more local Gainesville Times .

But not all. And I want to share what Virginia told me.

Kate joined the Peace Corp in 2007, after she graduated from William and Mary. She was coming home to Georgia in May.

Kate wanted to make the world a better place. She was very open, loving and compassionate. Good and kind. As beautiful in spirit as she was fair of face. She really did light up a room with her smile.

Kate was also feisty. Willing to fight for justice. And to fight for the underdog. She wasn’t afraid.

They have the man that murdered Kate in custody. He is the local, for want of a better word, "badass”. He took advantage of young girls. Now, I know I am American, and I don’t live in a small African village, and perceptions of what is “normal” or “right” or “correct” or “appropriate” differ around the world. But forcing a 14-year old girl to have sex against her will is wrong. I do not care what the native language is... it is still called “rape”.

Kate was horrified to learn that five of her 14-year old students were pregnant at the same time due to his man. That many other village girls had been hurt by him…were terrified of him.

Kate went to the authorities- I am unsure if it was government or employer- and the man was forced to leave the area. But he came back for his revenge.

In the Bible, John 15:13 says “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” I know this will be little comfort to her parents and brother right now, but maybe in time……..

If you believe in karma, as I do, then Kate has cleaned the slate. Heaven has the loveliest angel.

And as for the man who murdered,Kate----well…. As a Christian, I know that God has a whole lot more in His arsenal than we humans do in ours. As a Buddhist, I know that his suffering has only begun. He will receive justice.

The lives Kate touched will go on to touch other lives. The scholarship fund her family has begun will change still more lives. The positive change she made in the world will endure.

Our world is a better place because Catherine “Kate” Puzey lived with us for 24 years.

I would have loved to have known her.



Kate's blog and photos


The Kate Puzey Memorial Fund has been established “to help causes she believed in,” her father has said. Donations can be sent to: c/o Smith, Gambrell, and Russel, LLP, Suite 3100, 1230 Peachtree Street, NE, Atlanta, GA 30309-3592.