If Wishes Were Horses

Virginia McAfee is a friend of mine here in Washington County. She teaches English at Brentwood--and Girl has been very lucky to be her student this year. Virginia also writes a column in the weekly paper The Sandersville Progress. This week, I liked her article so much I asked if I could reprint it here. So, with her kind permission.....

If Wishes Were Horses…

Do you remember that old saying, “If wishes were horses, then beggars might ride”? If that statement were true, I would sometimes have a regular stampede of critters riding through my house. I am not talking about world peace here or stamping out hunger. I have listed some of my more whimsical wishes that have crossed my mind more than once and left their hoof prints in my memory, and I think they would all be safe if they came true.

I wish that…
1. cleaning my house could be done with something akin to the computer mouse. Just a few turns and swoops and the clutter would just disappear before my eyes!

2. my mind could grasp technology as quickly as it does trivia. Why can I remember bits of information that have no relevance, but I can’t figure out how to retrieve phone calls on my cell phone?

3. my brain wouldn’t quit on me right in the middle of a conversation when I need a specific word or person’s name.

4. I had a cabin by the pond not far from my house where I could go when I want nothing but bird song and the whisper of the wind to break the silence.

5. I could belt out a song like Aretha Franklin and play the piano like Dino.

6. I could be the one to say “Oh, let me hook up that amplifier system and adjust the sound a little,” when no one else has a clue what to do.

7. I really liked sports and knew more about them so that I could reel off names and sports trivia like a pro when I am around a bunch of guys.

8. I could still wear high heels and not walk like an arthritic rhino.

9. I lived in a very old house with lots of character and its own friendly ghosts.

10. just once I could say to the saleslady “Please bring me a size six; this eight is way too baggy.”

11. my feet were one size smaller.

12. my knees had not passed their expiration date so early.

13. it snowed every Christmas and stayed on the ground for several days, but the electricity would never go out.

14. I knew how to fix wiring, build stone walls, lay tile and carpeting and do carpentry work.

15. someone would invent remote controls for negative personalities. You whine; I zap you!

16. my eyelids weren’t beginning to look like little awnings over my eyes.

17. I liked to cook. My husband might wish this one too.

18. I were better about sending cards and making phone calls to sick friends. My heart is in the right place. But how will they know?

19. more people had a sense of humor and took themselves less seriously.

20. I could have a menagerie of animals with the barns and roaming room to care for them.

21. I could tell my mother how much better I understand what she taught me.