Whilst (I've picked up the Britishism for "while"--sounds so much nicer....) we were in London, Boy's English Godfather came up from Bristol with his partner of 12 years to visit. We had so very much fun, and it was great catching up with them both.
He gave us a letter to deliver to his godson. It was so wonderful, I asked it I could post it here for everyone. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
Approaching my half century, you would think I might have learnt something useful, something worth passing on, wouldn't you? I mean I haven't died, so I am clearly getting at the least the basics right: But I am already assuming that you can handle the basics-you seemed pretty competent at that when I saw you as a six or seven year old and I have no reason to assume you will have deteriorated much from then (and you may even have improved- here's hoping, anyhow). So my challenge is not to offer 'stay alive' advice- you clearly already know which end to point away from yourself before pulling the trigger.
If not the mundane then, I must offer the more advanced: Not Life 101, but maybe a master class if not quite doctoral thesis. I have drawn upon some famous and some entirely unrecognised geniuses and distilled the product for you.
TEN THING I WISH I HAD KNOWN BEFORE
1. Oscar Wilde said that the only thing to do with good advice was to pass it on: It is never any use to oneself.
2. The old saw 'Never Put off 'til Tomorrow What You Can Do Today'. This is actually and irritatingly true. Sometimes you will remember this but most often you will just put things off anyway and for a wide variety of reasons, all of which will seem like valid (self) justification at the time. You will then be somewhat peeved when you do come to complete the task and discover it now costs more, or they have sold out, or you have missed the closing date or whatever. Sadly, the outcome on this one seems pre-ordained. There are those who do not put off until tomorrow and then there are the rest of us and I don't think I have ever met anyone who moved from Group B into Group A. On the small off chance that you are a Type A who will finish things first time, please prepare yourself for the relative frustration of spending your life haranguing your Type B life partner into doing whatever it is they aren't and should be.
3. Wallis Simpson (divorcee, socialite and some-time Duchess of Windsor) reportedly said "You can never be too rich or too thin". She married David Windsor, who would have been crowned King Emperor Edward VIII within a few months, but who was forced to abdicate because she was a divorcee, a commoner, and, unforgivably, an American (only kidding- I don't think they really minded about the American thing- maybe). Anyway, having married one of the richest men in the world, she watched as he was forced to give up the money, position and status, and the pair of them were shuffled off into a series of non-jobs and generally sidelined for the rest of their considerable lives. She was still pretty rich and certainly fairly thin, but she was permanently frustrated, perpetually ostracised and, much to her chagrin, largely ignored (Oscar Wilde said "There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about "). My message is, be who you are and be happy. It is not that you can not improve yourself, you can: But don't spend your life chasing someone else's ideal- when all is said and done, it is theirs, not yours.
4. Victorian children in Britain were introduced to a literary character called "Mrs-Do-As-You-Would-Be-Done-By". It is easy when you are fit and smart and good looking and rich and popular to poke fun at those who are not all those things. It can also be amusing- cruel, maybe, but damn funny. Of course, there is always the risk that you will meet one of those people who is fitter and smarter and better looking and richer and hugely more popular than you with all its attendant risks, but that is not the reason for exercising caution. Exercising humility and magnanimity is good for you, it builds character and you will frequently disarm people, reduce opposition, encourage co-operation and team work and engender a spirit of trust which will carry you on to great things. And of course the beauty of being nice first is, if it isn't achieving the results, you can always put 'em in their place later. Going to DEFCON2* is far more impressive to people who are used to seeing you at DEFCON 4.
5. Don't eat yellow snow.
6. Benjamin Franklin said "Write injuries in dust: Benefits in marble". It is really only another way of saying forgive the times they got it wrong and remember them for the times they got it right. A classic example of this is a certain GodParent, who has been significantly useless for 17 years (all bar one England Soccer strip and a leather soccer ball) but is proving much more worth while just at the moment.
7. As a popular guy, you probably already have a hundred buddies and a thousand acquaintances. As you pass through college and on into work, you will make thousands of extra acquaintances, maybe 10,000 plus over your working life. In your whole life, however, you will only ever have a couple of dozen real friends and rarely more than 10 at any one time. Think about it, about 10 of all the people you know (other than family) who really treasure and value you and who you can rely on; 10 or so people who could command your assistance on a whim- or you, theirs. They are the most valuable possession you have and you should treat them as such.
8. Smile a lot. It'll make some people happy and it's not a bad thing to be known as the guy with the smile on his face (note, I am not talking Village Idiot here- just a genial grin) and for people who wonder what you have to smile about, it'll drive 'em mad wondering, which is just a bonus.
9. From time to time you will argue with someone you care about. There is lots of relationship advice out there (ad nauseum) but it can ALL be summed up as follows: If you were in the wrong, apologise: If they were in the wrong; apologise- and buy flowers.
10. Famous New York theatre critic and wit Alexander Wollacott said "Everything I enjoy in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening". This advice not withstanding, remember that Aristotle said "Everything in moderation"- mind you, he died of hemlock poisoning, so maybe not actually everything. On the other hand, Oscar Wilde said "Moderation is fatal: Nothing succeeds like excess!" (He died a pauper in Paris-although not of hemlock, at least. Reportedly, his last words were "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.") Mind you, Wilde also said "you should try everything in life except incest and Scottish country dancing" so he could be contradictory. What does all of this mean? Well, you will make your own mind up, but as far as I am concerned, it means no-one knows so you might as well make your own mind up: What, you expected wisdom?? Sorry, I can only offer encouragement; you will have to plot your own path otherwise.
Good luck and enjoy the ride.
-AJ Killoran
*DEFCON- a measure of the activation and readiness level of the military. Increasing number indicates increasing severity and direness of the crisis.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
She's Back!!
Hello everyone! And that includes family, friends, bill collectors, vacation time-share sellers, politicians, and fund-raisers! We're back from holiday.
I guess I should have blogged that I would be gone most of the month of July. CruiseGran (as Girl's BFF had dubbed her) took the whole family on a cruise around Great Britain, followed by a near-week in London. Much to share, pics to post and mirth and merriment abounded. More anon.
But first, I must play catchup with bill paying, or we won't have any electricity...and therefore no computer, and no blog updates!!
I guess I should have blogged that I would be gone most of the month of July. CruiseGran (as Girl's BFF had dubbed her) took the whole family on a cruise around Great Britain, followed by a near-week in London. Much to share, pics to post and mirth and merriment abounded. More anon.
But first, I must play catchup with bill paying, or we won't have any electricity...and therefore no computer, and no blog updates!!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Introduce Yourself...or "Hi, I'm E"
PROJECT #1:
Introduce yourself.
I know, I know. That’s a little anticlimactic. Here were are, talking about changing the world from our rocking chairs on our porches with a little pie, and I’m asking you to just talk about one of the subjects you know best — you.
If you have a blog, make a post about who you are.
This is the task put in front of me by the leader of a new group I’ve joined online. Now I know it’s funny that most of us kinda know what we’d say to introduce ourselves to strangers, but putting it into actual words on paper (or screen) suddenly makes the task a bit more daunting. More permanent? Maybe….well- here goes.
Hi. I’m Elizabeth. I go by various names...Mama, Mumzzz, Martha, Miss Elizabeth...but in the family, I'm usually called "E". I’m 47, but feel more like 27. Or maybe 37- that was a good age. Old enough to not worry much about the crap in life, but not old enough to be someone’s grandmother.
I grew up in Northwestern Louisiana as a city girl with deep roots in the country-my mother’s family has farmed since before the Civil War. I grew up in the best of both worlds—friends around the corner in town, and acres and acres of pasture and cotton fields. Still nothing prettier to me than a cotton field before it’s defoliated…green leaves, white bolls, pink blossoms, blue sky, brown dirt. Opening day of dove season is still one of my favorite days of the year.
I’m the oldest of three, with two brothers. I’ve always been a bit of a loner, and –although this amazes people for some reason- painfully shy. A tomboy- was happiest making mudpies and playing war. Waterballoons and blowing things up. I can play the glamour game, but much prefer jeans.
I went to a Catholic all-girls’ high school. Was taught by a few nuns. Some very good, very kind, very wise nuns, but mostly crazy ones. Almost everything you read about “catholic girls schools” is true. Yes, I was taught “never wear patent leather shoes because guys will look up your dress” and that french kissing will get you pregnant. I was never the “beautiful one”, never the “thin one”- definitely not a cheerleader-type. I was a drama geek. The actress, the costume designer, the set painter, the lighting wizard. I loved- and still love- creating worlds out of imagination.
I went to college in Virginia. Randolph-Macon Woman’s College. Yep, another girls’ school. Majored in Russian and Theatre. I learned more there than I can ever convey. Not just book learning, but resourcefulness, leadership and strength. Independence. Perseverance. That individuality is a blessing. That friendship is one of the greatest gifts of all.
Six weeks after graduation, I got married to Alan, a lieutenant in the Army. Moved a week later to Germany. Lived there four years and loved every single second while we were there. I think of myself as more European than American.
I’ve lived up and down the East Coast- Maryland, Virginia, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Connecticut. Large Company Corporate Wife. Then back to the South—Memphis and finally here, to the Middle-of-Nowhere. Washington County, Georgia. And I wouldn’t live anywhere else. I love living in small-town rural Georgia. Where there’s a handful of well-educated, well-read, well-travelled families we are blessed to call friends…and then there’s every Darwinian proof for the Origin of the Species. I’m a people-watcher- a trip to Walmart is a blast…characters galore. Southerners definitely don’t keep their eccentrics in the closet…they come out in the daylight. When I need a big-city fix, I go to Atlanta, or Savannah. Or hop on a plane to New York.
I’m a mom- of two incredibly brilliant, talented and gorgeous kids. Not just my opinion-ask anyone (My husband and I still can’t figure out how they got assigned to us…) Boy-older, Girl-younger. Heir and Spare. He’s a senior in high school, she’s a freshman.
They are good—no---great kids. Loud music and messy rooms are about the biggest complaint I have of them. And they steal the towels out of my bathroom.
I knit. I write-but not enough. I design needlepoint canvases. I read. I cook. I’m writing a cookbook for my kids that I hope will be finished within the year. I’m terrible at housework. I sew. I love gardening in March, and hate gardening by July. I dabble in all sorts of creative things….mosaic, jewelry design, painting. I’m the resident scenic designer at the kids’ school.
I love pretty lingerie and sweatpants. Mozart and Meatloaf, Vivaldi and Van Halen. I love having people around me and being left alone. Russian Orthodoxy and Buddhism. Dante Alighieri and Danielle Steele. Travelling abroad and coming home to “my own widdle bed”.
I’m searching for the perfect lipstick. I am phobic about snakes. I really want to learn to fly a plane.
I am fan of any kind of racing, but especially horses. I’m equally passionate about football—both American college style with a pointy ball, and rest-of-the-world style with a round one.
If there is reincarnation, I was a sailor in a previous life. I may have been born and raised landlocked, but I fight like hell to get in viewing distance, if not actually on, the sea as much as I can. I love looking at the horizon and not seeing land. Put me in a sailboat with a full spinnaker---and no noise but waves hitting the bow...fabulous.
Figured me out yet??? If so, please enlighten me, ‘cause I still haven’t…..
Oh, and I don’t ever plan on growing up………..
Introduce yourself.
I know, I know. That’s a little anticlimactic. Here were are, talking about changing the world from our rocking chairs on our porches with a little pie, and I’m asking you to just talk about one of the subjects you know best — you.
If you have a blog, make a post about who you are.
This is the task put in front of me by the leader of a new group I’ve joined online. Now I know it’s funny that most of us kinda know what we’d say to introduce ourselves to strangers, but putting it into actual words on paper (or screen) suddenly makes the task a bit more daunting. More permanent? Maybe….well- here goes.
Hi. I’m Elizabeth. I go by various names...Mama, Mumzzz, Martha, Miss Elizabeth...but in the family, I'm usually called "E". I’m 47, but feel more like 27. Or maybe 37- that was a good age. Old enough to not worry much about the crap in life, but not old enough to be someone’s grandmother.
I grew up in Northwestern Louisiana as a city girl with deep roots in the country-my mother’s family has farmed since before the Civil War. I grew up in the best of both worlds—friends around the corner in town, and acres and acres of pasture and cotton fields. Still nothing prettier to me than a cotton field before it’s defoliated…green leaves, white bolls, pink blossoms, blue sky, brown dirt. Opening day of dove season is still one of my favorite days of the year.
I’m the oldest of three, with two brothers. I’ve always been a bit of a loner, and –although this amazes people for some reason- painfully shy. A tomboy- was happiest making mudpies and playing war. Waterballoons and blowing things up. I can play the glamour game, but much prefer jeans.
I went to a Catholic all-girls’ high school. Was taught by a few nuns. Some very good, very kind, very wise nuns, but mostly crazy ones. Almost everything you read about “catholic girls schools” is true. Yes, I was taught “never wear patent leather shoes because guys will look up your dress” and that french kissing will get you pregnant. I was never the “beautiful one”, never the “thin one”- definitely not a cheerleader-type. I was a drama geek. The actress, the costume designer, the set painter, the lighting wizard. I loved- and still love- creating worlds out of imagination.
I went to college in Virginia. Randolph-Macon Woman’s College. Yep, another girls’ school. Majored in Russian and Theatre. I learned more there than I can ever convey. Not just book learning, but resourcefulness, leadership and strength. Independence. Perseverance. That individuality is a blessing. That friendship is one of the greatest gifts of all.
Six weeks after graduation, I got married to Alan, a lieutenant in the Army. Moved a week later to Germany. Lived there four years and loved every single second while we were there. I think of myself as more European than American.
I’ve lived up and down the East Coast- Maryland, Virginia, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Connecticut. Large Company Corporate Wife. Then back to the South—Memphis and finally here, to the Middle-of-Nowhere. Washington County, Georgia. And I wouldn’t live anywhere else. I love living in small-town rural Georgia. Where there’s a handful of well-educated, well-read, well-travelled families we are blessed to call friends…and then there’s every Darwinian proof for the Origin of the Species. I’m a people-watcher- a trip to Walmart is a blast…characters galore. Southerners definitely don’t keep their eccentrics in the closet…they come out in the daylight. When I need a big-city fix, I go to Atlanta, or Savannah. Or hop on a plane to New York.
I’m a mom- of two incredibly brilliant, talented and gorgeous kids. Not just my opinion-ask anyone (My husband and I still can’t figure out how they got assigned to us…) Boy-older, Girl-younger. Heir and Spare. He’s a senior in high school, she’s a freshman.
They are good—no---great kids. Loud music and messy rooms are about the biggest complaint I have of them. And they steal the towels out of my bathroom.
I knit. I write-but not enough. I design needlepoint canvases. I read. I cook. I’m writing a cookbook for my kids that I hope will be finished within the year. I’m terrible at housework. I sew. I love gardening in March, and hate gardening by July. I dabble in all sorts of creative things….mosaic, jewelry design, painting. I’m the resident scenic designer at the kids’ school.
I love pretty lingerie and sweatpants. Mozart and Meatloaf, Vivaldi and Van Halen. I love having people around me and being left alone. Russian Orthodoxy and Buddhism. Dante Alighieri and Danielle Steele. Travelling abroad and coming home to “my own widdle bed”.
I’m searching for the perfect lipstick. I am phobic about snakes. I really want to learn to fly a plane.
I am fan of any kind of racing, but especially horses. I’m equally passionate about football—both American college style with a pointy ball, and rest-of-the-world style with a round one.
If there is reincarnation, I was a sailor in a previous life. I may have been born and raised landlocked, but I fight like hell to get in viewing distance, if not actually on, the sea as much as I can. I love looking at the horizon and not seeing land. Put me in a sailboat with a full spinnaker---and no noise but waves hitting the bow...fabulous.
Figured me out yet??? If so, please enlighten me, ‘cause I still haven’t…..
Oh, and I don’t ever plan on growing up………..
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Where Does My Day Go????
The guilt just washes over me. Dude, the bro, keeps informing me that I need to update my blog. Even though we have been communicating daily as a result of his bout with Hollywood (yes, they finished filming at his house. Yes, they rented and returned his dining room table and silverware for the White House dining room shots. Yes, Val Kilmer and Fifty Cent visited with Josh Brolin on his patio. All too surreal for me). YES, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, I KNOW I HAVEN'T BLOGGED SINCE JUNE 10th!!!!!!! I have a reason.
First, School got out. I hid under my bed (metaphorically, don't call the men in the white coats yet) until the dust settled and a routine got established with the comings and goings of the Teens of Summer. Then I had to get Girl ready for camp. She's in the North Georgia Mountains for two weeks, with no cell phone, no ipod and no computer. My bet is she survives, but barely. Then there is this lace shawl that I am trying to finish before our trip to the UK in two weeks. Not to mention stalking all my friends on Facebook and Ravelry.
And now I've been sucked into the time-vacuum that is PLURK. Oh, just go investigate it. I don't have time to explain. I have to go see what my friends are doing.
I'm not fixing dinner tonight. Again.
First, School got out. I hid under my bed (metaphorically, don't call the men in the white coats yet) until the dust settled and a routine got established with the comings and goings of the Teens of Summer. Then I had to get Girl ready for camp. She's in the North Georgia Mountains for two weeks, with no cell phone, no ipod and no computer. My bet is she survives, but barely. Then there is this lace shawl that I am trying to finish before our trip to the UK in two weeks. Not to mention stalking all my friends on Facebook and Ravelry.
And now I've been sucked into the time-vacuum that is PLURK. Oh, just go investigate it. I don't have time to explain. I have to go see what my friends are doing.
I'm not fixing dinner tonight. Again.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
OMG-He's Gonna Have Famous Furniture!!
As I type this, 550 miles away in the home of my brother, Dude, Oliver Stone is behind a camera filming a scene from the upcoming movie "W"!!!!! How wierd and cool is that???
If you've read anything about the movie industry, you know that many films are shot in Louisiana. Must be just "sumpthun" about our little banana republic. Post-Katrina, many of those movies planned for New Orleans moved to Shreveport, and a whole huge industry has been born. Seems that "Hooterville on the Red" has just about everything movie moguls like--cheap labor, various outdoor and indoor scene selections, a wide variety of architecture, plenty of hotel space and damn good food. "The Guardian" , "Mr. Brooks", and "Mad Money" , "Factory Girl", "Premonition" and "The Great Debaters" have all been filmed in S'port.........
So when a location manager approached Dude and Jula about using their house, it wasn't a big deal. Their friends' home had been used in "Mad Money" --so they knew the drill. Oliver Stone--yes Oliver Stone- came by to look at the living room....and he liked it. So chez Dude and Jula has become Barbara and George 41's Houston living room for a few days.
It has been a wild daily report for the past week as my bro's living room has been emptied of furniture, only to have most of their things brought back in as "they are nicer than the stuff we WERE gonna use." The crew has photoshopped pics of the Bush twins into picture frames, they changed out some paintings and brought in a very un-Jula rose-covered chintz couch.
The latest happening was that the site manager asked Jula yesterday if "James and Ellen" (as in Cromwell and Burstyn) could use the upstairs of the house for downtime between takes. My sister-in-law was thrown for a loop, as they have kids ranging from 14 to 9 and so the upstairs is not as "done" as downstairs.... but with an "it's a mess, but sure" she has removed the clothes from the "very expensive clothes hanger" aka the treadmill, and pushed a pile of clean but not folded towels from an armchair to behind her dresses in her closet and is going with the flow. At this moment, she is ensconced in her kitchen, in a comfy chair brought in for her use, needlepointing and drinking Diet Coke after Diet Coke as the magic of moviedom works around her.
So when you go to see Oliver Stone's "W", be sure to notice the linen press, the books, the fireplace, and the portrait of the young belle above the bar in the dining room...that would be Gran!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and did I mention they get paid a right nice figure per day for all this hoo-hah??
I wish Hollywood would discover the Middle-Of-Nowhere..........
If you've read anything about the movie industry, you know that many films are shot in Louisiana. Must be just "sumpthun" about our little banana republic. Post-Katrina, many of those movies planned for New Orleans moved to Shreveport, and a whole huge industry has been born. Seems that "Hooterville on the Red" has just about everything movie moguls like--cheap labor, various outdoor and indoor scene selections, a wide variety of architecture, plenty of hotel space and damn good food. "The Guardian" , "Mr. Brooks", and "Mad Money" , "Factory Girl", "Premonition" and "The Great Debaters" have all been filmed in S'port.........
So when a location manager approached Dude and Jula about using their house, it wasn't a big deal. Their friends' home had been used in "Mad Money" --so they knew the drill. Oliver Stone--yes Oliver Stone- came by to look at the living room....and he liked it. So chez Dude and Jula has become Barbara and George 41's Houston living room for a few days.
It has been a wild daily report for the past week as my bro's living room has been emptied of furniture, only to have most of their things brought back in as "they are nicer than the stuff we WERE gonna use." The crew has photoshopped pics of the Bush twins into picture frames, they changed out some paintings and brought in a very un-Jula rose-covered chintz couch.
The latest happening was that the site manager asked Jula yesterday if "James and Ellen" (as in Cromwell and Burstyn) could use the upstairs of the house for downtime between takes. My sister-in-law was thrown for a loop, as they have kids ranging from 14 to 9 and so the upstairs is not as "done" as downstairs.... but with an "it's a mess, but sure" she has removed the clothes from the "very expensive clothes hanger" aka the treadmill, and pushed a pile of clean but not folded towels from an armchair to behind her dresses in her closet and is going with the flow. At this moment, she is ensconced in her kitchen, in a comfy chair brought in for her use, needlepointing and drinking Diet Coke after Diet Coke as the magic of moviedom works around her.
So when you go to see Oliver Stone's "W", be sure to notice the linen press, the books, the fireplace, and the portrait of the young belle above the bar in the dining room...that would be Gran!!!!!!!!!
Oh, and did I mention they get paid a right nice figure per day for all this hoo-hah??
I wish Hollywood would discover the Middle-Of-Nowhere..........
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