Eighth Grade Humor

The muse is not being kind to me, so today, I shall just repeat the jokes my eighth grade daughter told me yesterday.

Silly Joke 1

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"


Silly Joke 2- (please note that the owner of this blog and her family are Episcopalians, who believe "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.")

Three ladies- a Baptist, a Methodist, and an Episcopalian are in the waiting room in Hell. The ladies begin trying to figure out why they've been sent there. The Baptist lady said " I danced with a boy once when I was young. That's probably the reason.” The Methodist lady said "Well, I did have a cocktail once. That's probably the reason." There’s a moment of silence, and then the Episcopalian lady says, “Well, I once ate a whole meal with my salad fork.”